Can Your Realtor Effectively Counter Against A Competitive Negotiator On The Other Side?
It might be a little rich to say I was born a negotiator, but I certainly earned the badge by the tender age of two. Growing up with two younger siblings (all of us born within 30 months) was like a nonstop crash course in high-stakes negotiation—except instead of million-dollar real estate deals, I was fighting for the last grape or one of the two Playmobil cars. I learned early that my real power laid in psychological warfare. I’d offer my sister a “special” proposal —her Barbie for my obviously superior, Barbie with the botched haircut and convinced my brother that he should be the one to ride the skateboard headfirst down the street. And then there was the role of being the oldest child to negotiate with the parental rules. My brother & sister can thank me for the major role I played in negotiating later bedtimes, school dance privileges & larger desert portions.
Before real estate I was a TV researcher & producer. I didn’t know it at the time but everything about working in TV production was a negotiation.
I had to sell the powers that be with the NYPD on our broadcast coverage over 60 Minutes. I had to convince a tyrannical roadside exotic zoo operator in Miami to not turn us away from our planned all-day shoot. And I had to negotiate the $$ rate for every 3 and 6 month contract I took. Also before real estate, I had to convince a panel looking at 100 applicants that I was the best candidate to selling advertising abroad. And when I got said job, I had to negotiate a way in to a face-to-face meeting with Sheikh Ahmed Bin Saif Al Nahyan, the Chairman of Etihad Airways.
Fast forward to real estate > I botched one of my first listings because I told the other agent that we would not negotiate on price.
I remember sitting in the car with my “script” and him asking how flexible we were on price. “Not at all,” I told him. I never heard back from him after and certainly didn’t get an offer with that response. With the the help of coaches and by taking two career-changing negotiation courses – the Certified Negotiation Expert and the Master-certified Negotiation Expert courses taught by Suze Cumming, the owner of The Nature of Real Estate – I honed my talent. Real estate negotiation is not purely about winning. Real estate negotiation is expertly navigating the nuances, the personality type (complete with age, gender, culture & learned behaviour), compromising, fore
casting and coming to a mutual agreement between two sides.
Last week, inspired by US President Donald Trump’s negotiation display on the world stage, I took another Suze negotiation course: “Negotiating With Difficult People.” Let’s talk about what I learned about real estate negotiation that further helps me help YOU.
Donald Trump has built his brand on a tough, aggressive, and competitive negotiation style. Whether in business, politics, or real estate he’s been known for his relentless approach, often leveraging intimidation, anchoring extreme positions, leveraging through fear and creating a sense of urgency to push deals in his favour. His style is not unlike some Realtors in the field. Let’s review some of his textbook (as Suze calls it) negotiation tactics:
- Fixed-Pie Mindset – I win, you lose.
- High Opening Demands – Set the bar unreasonably high to shift expectations.
- Limited Information Sharing – Keep opponents in the dark.
- Abuse of Power – Leverage authority to force concessions.
- Time Pressure – Manufacture urgency to create panic.
- Facts Manipulation – Control the narrative.
- Personal Insults – Discredit the opposition.
- Walk Away – Signal indifference to force movement.
- Red Herring – Distract with unrelated issues (fentanyl, immigration).
***Borrowed the above from the Nature of Real Estate blog
Now what to do when the Toronto Realtor on the other side of the transaction is behaving this way? Here’s some of my tricks and some new ones I recently learned to negotiating powerfully in these situations for my real estate clients –
Remain emotionally detached and maintain professionalism. Realtors who rely on intimidation want an emotional reaction. The more rattled I seem, the more they believe they are winning.
Take ahold of the wheel & reclaim control. She who is in the driver’s seat controls the game. I might strengthen my position by highlighting competing offers, recent solds, data (my favourite) or market conditions to support my client’s case. I might leverage what truths exist (aka, my clients are not against offering on the other property they saw with a price more indicative of market value).
Counter Extreme Anchoring with Market Data. If the other agent starts with an unrealistic real estate negotiation demand, I counter with data. Comparable sales, latest figures & numbers from the MLS home price index & insider construction or neighbourhood changes. Numbers, facts, and local market trends neutralize hype.
Strategic silence. Aggressive real estate negotiators often fill conversations with bluster and threats…and omg, non stop texts at times. Instead of reacting to phone calls & text messages at Tommy-gun speed, I just pause. Pausing before responding often makes them reconsider their position.
Pivoting from the fake urgency & focusing on the big picture. Competitive negotiators love to give tight irrevocables with a threat about the deal being over if we don’t react in time. But the right deal isn’t always a fast deal. In these situations I like to take a deep breath with my clients & trust the path. Maybe the signs are that this is not the right sale.
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The longer I work as a Toronto Realtor in Toronto real estate, the calmer I am. To you, the buyer or seller witnessing the back and forth sometimes, you’re probably very surprised by that but let me assure you that my learned real estate negotiation tactics combat the stress. So if you’re looking for shark-like real estate negotiation in your agent but in a way that is calculated, calm and collaborative in getting deals reached, we should definitely talk.